Sunday, May 12, 2013

Happy Mother's Day

I have the sweetest, most incredible, compassionate, loving creative Mother.  Early on I decided to be as best a person as I could be to honor my parent's lives.  My Mother and Father gave me the world.   From them I have two strong remarkable Grandmothers, who stuck with me as I fought the growing up process.  They gave me the sweetest person I know as my sister.   They gave me my biggest fan in my brother. 
My experience with my Mother and Father has made me who I am today. 

Today being Mother's Day,  I miss my Mom.  I have missed her every day of my life for the past 42 years.

Of course as the years have moved on, my 12 year old memory of my Mother has intensified.  She was beautiful.  She was loving.   People flocked to her.   Her life was not easy, she never complained, she did what she had to do and with a smile.   She loved her family with all her heart and then some.

Mom was one of four children and the only girl.  She was the second born to my Italian immigrant grandparents.  She was the center of their universe.  Her Brother's adored her.  She had a close relationship with all of them, she had a special bond with her youngest brother.

Mom was very beautiful.  Growing up, she never wore the same outfit twice to High School.  She married my Dad,  a military man at the time.  Mom had three children. 

My Mother was a very creative person.  Her house was always beautiful.  She loved to decorate it.   We had themed bedrooms growing up.  Not only that, we also had winter themes and summer themes.   Mom made Birthdays and Holidays a big deal.    

Mom welcomed everyone into our home. People met her, they loved her and wanted to spend time with her.  She was talented and resourceful.  She loved children and would care for and take in as many as she could. 

Our house was the one on the block all the kids wanted to play at, we had all the cool things.  We had a life size play house, a pool,  in the winter a flooded backyard for ice skating.

Mom sewed most of our clothes.  We had outfits for every Holiday,  we had couture wardrobes.  Matching shoes and pocket books, hats and gloves.

Mom loved pictures of us.  She liked to dress us up to take "studio" like pictures in various locations inside and out of our home.

When my sister went away to college, she wrote her every day.  I still have all the letters, and I know what a wonderful gift it is to be able to read my Mother's words.
The crazy thing is, when she wrote those letters, I was 10, 11 and 12 years old.  Not my best, sweetest years as I am seeing through my Mother's eyes.  I was at the, "I'm not going to wear" that stage, "you like it so much, you wear it" and "all my friends are doing it, your so mean, not letting me".  Grrrrrr, it was the age right!

I have come to realize that I strive so hard to be such a good person because I didn't like the behavior of that 10, 11, 12 year old in my Mom's letters.  I've also come to realize that had we had the gift of time, my Mom would have written me every day as well when I went off to college.  I know this, because I talked to my sister everyday of my life from when Mom passed away until the day my sister died.

There is a yearning so deep in my heart to have an adult relationship with my Mom.  It is the one thing I have always wanted but can never really have.

Last night pep talking myself into the right state of mind for yet another Mother's Day, I realized the most amazing thing.  My sister's greatest gift me me was letting me play an active role in her children's lives, and in turn, them letting me play an active role in their children's lives.  I spent some time thinking about each and everyone of them, Jason, Kristen, Mark and Michael and how they mean the world to me.  I started to think about the people they are.  They are each so different and wonderful.  I love them so.

My sister had four children, the second being her only daughter.  My sister and her husband "immigrated" to Western NY from other parts of the state.  Carol's children are "first generation Western New Yorkers".  Kristen is beautiful.  She is sweet and funny and smart.  She is creative.  She never wore the same outfit twice in High School.  While Kristen's life growing up was a good one, it is never an easy life when you lose your mother so young.  Kristen has taken it in stride, making the best of everything.  She doesn't complain.

Kristen has close relationships with all of her brothers, but she has a special bond with Michael, her youngest brother.  Kristen is the apple of her Dad's eye.   Kristen married Jeff, a military man at the time and a great Dad to their children.

She is a wonderful, loving mother.   She has three beautiful loving children, (her second is particularly loving :)  )   Her children are her world.  She is an incredible teacher.  Kids love her.  People love her. 

Kristen is creative.  Her house is beautiful.  Her children all have themed rooms.  She makes birthdays and holidays extra special.  Neighborhood kids want to play at their house.  Who wouldn't, they have a wrestling mat and bounce house in the basement!
Kristen is an exceptional photographer and it all started with loving to take pictures of her own children.

Kristen is my best friend.  Last night I realized that Kristen by her presence reminds me of my sister, by who she is reminds me of my Mom... and that yearning, so deep in my heart as been lightened.

Happy Mother's Day  Miss Kris!   I love you and am grateful for the gift of You!

                         Sadie loves you too!